As I begin to pack my luggage, I cleared away some of my stuff and found this red little zipper bag where all my birthday cards were deposit in since I was here in Australia. I pulled out the entire stack and lay them on my bed. Slowly, I begin picking up one by one and finished reading them. Half way through my reading, my eyes welled up with tears- both sad and happy. The stack of cards/letters that are lying before my eyes pretty much summarise and gave me a recap of my friendships and relationships within this 3 years. I start to think back of all the friends I had and have. Friends that I've met when I was still a newbie, friends who left, friends who are still here with me and new friends. The feelings in my heart, conflicting one another, are too profound to put it into words (as much as I'd love to) and I cannot help but to come to tears once again. So for the first time, I'm gonna typed out my story (at my best) and hopefully resist in attempting to delete the entire post after writing it.
(All the names of friends, except kel, sharon and hayley, are made up so I'm not referring to anyone)
When I first got here, I was luckily to have the one and only person that I know, Kellen. We met in MDIS and formed a girls groupie that consists of 8. To be brutally honest, back then Kel and I were probably the least closest within the group. We weren't in any bad terms but it was more like a better-than-acquaintance kinda friendship. But who knows and ever expect that she's today the only friend I trust. I guess our friendship was built to the fact that we only had each other in this entirely different place and the only way was too trust each other, like 'us against the world'. With that, you probably be able to figure out how strong our friendship is.
The first friend I've met was Shilly, from my math class. We started hanging out after class for coffee and for some reason, despite our differences in nationality, we hit off really well. I decided that Kel should definitely meet this girl and since then, we are the three musketeers. We went to clubs, ktvs, studied for exams together and did frequent stay-overs at my place. Some how, we gradually stop hanging out as much but there wasn't any particular reason neither did we fight so the closest thing I can think of is she ate the entire box of Kel's favourite biscuit. hahaha! I guess 'drifting apart' happens to all of us sometimes but til today, eventhough she left for her country, we are still really good friends. A good friend I will always remember and miss dearly.
Subsequently, we started hanging out with Reese and the most applicable reason I could think of is that we are both Singaporeans and we were coincidentally neighbours. She wasn't the type of girl Kel and I would hang out with because we are not of the same league, in terms of age, interests and etc. Apparently, the only common thing we had was going to the same gym. I wouldn't say that there wasn't any good times with her, there really was, but she's just not that friend I'll always remember. The one thing Kel and I both agreed on was when we were hanging out with her, we've reached our healthiest stage of our lives cos she was a gym junkie (no clubs, no drinks) and we followed as well.
There comes the entrance of Carly, the perfect girl for us. She was outgoing, fun and spontaneous, that person we needed in our uni life. We had so much in common and she was that girl whom you'll never feel bored with. We go to the clubs, get drunk, we meet lots of new people, we judge people and had our inside giggles, we did cook outs and the most important thing is she's like us, like we are the same kinda people that are meant to be really good friends. Just when we started liking her, things started to change. Kel was the first one who spot the changes and when she warned me about that, I didn't believed, not once but many times, because I was relying on what I see, on how much fun I had with her. True enough, some things you'll need to see it yourself and it will knock you out of sense to realise she wasn't a good friend. Out of the many things that she did to us (I'm not gonna say cos it would probably take up a few thousand words) is lying. She was such a great liar that she had me all along, when I wholeheartedly believed her. She made up stories about herself just to boost her on confidence, she talked shit about Kel to me and did the same thing back again to Kel. She was manipulative, competitive, jealous and selfish. It wasn't easy at all for me to say these things I'm saying now because a little part of me used to believe that it wasn't true but it is, Kel made me realise I need to wake up and stop trusting the wrong person. We slowly made her walk out of our life and til today we have yet to come close with any confrontational talks because I feel that there wasn't a need to. The most disheartening thing is after we broke off our friendship with her and started talking to our common friends and they brought up some of the things she said, we came to realise that the amount of stories she made up and her lies were ridiculously insane. I'm writing this incident down not because I'm trying to come clean with her acts but really, it's more like a closure for us. She was a good friend but not anymore. Whether or not she's reading this does not matter because we no longer feel mad about her and what she had done to us. All we do is laugh about it and get over it.
The best part about every bad ending comes a good one. I feel very lucky to have met two lovely ladies whom we spent our entire 2nd year with. There were so much laughter as what I can remember. Sharon and Hayley made us felt like we are a bunch of girlfriends. I miss the times we spend in Sharon's room gossiping, getting drunk and watching 'Minutes to destruction'. I miss the times when Kel and I are giving them emergency supper call to the pancake house and I'll get a lecture from them for being responsible of their weight gain. I miss our graduation trip in Gold Coast and Melbourne in a rainy season and ended up lying in our hotel room watching movies all day. I miss the craziness and naturally born joker hayley and I miss the genuine and fun sharon. It was really hard not to have them with us now because there's nobody we can call for supper, there's no one we could do crazy things with. There are real good friends for us.
The first thing after I did after reading the cards and kept them back to where they belong, I immediately went to blogger and start typing out this post. I try to put my feelings into words when they are still raw and fresh in my heart. I made sure I typed out my true feeling without sugar coating it and stripping down the details to make it less direct like I usually would. This is by far the most truthful post I've ever written and posted. The most cliche phrases are in fact the most true right? Friends come and go, but who are the real ones?
(All the names of friends, except kel, sharon and hayley, are made up so I'm not referring to anyone)
When I first got here, I was luckily to have the one and only person that I know, Kellen. We met in MDIS and formed a girls groupie that consists of 8. To be brutally honest, back then Kel and I were probably the least closest within the group. We weren't in any bad terms but it was more like a better-than-acquaintance kinda friendship. But who knows and ever expect that she's today the only friend I trust. I guess our friendship was built to the fact that we only had each other in this entirely different place and the only way was too trust each other, like 'us against the world'. With that, you probably be able to figure out how strong our friendship is.
The first friend I've met was Shilly, from my math class. We started hanging out after class for coffee and for some reason, despite our differences in nationality, we hit off really well. I decided that Kel should definitely meet this girl and since then, we are the three musketeers. We went to clubs, ktvs, studied for exams together and did frequent stay-overs at my place. Some how, we gradually stop hanging out as much but there wasn't any particular reason neither did we fight so the closest thing I can think of is she ate the entire box of Kel's favourite biscuit. hahaha! I guess 'drifting apart' happens to all of us sometimes but til today, eventhough she left for her country, we are still really good friends. A good friend I will always remember and miss dearly.
Subsequently, we started hanging out with Reese and the most applicable reason I could think of is that we are both Singaporeans and we were coincidentally neighbours. She wasn't the type of girl Kel and I would hang out with because we are not of the same league, in terms of age, interests and etc. Apparently, the only common thing we had was going to the same gym. I wouldn't say that there wasn't any good times with her, there really was, but she's just not that friend I'll always remember. The one thing Kel and I both agreed on was when we were hanging out with her, we've reached our healthiest stage of our lives cos she was a gym junkie (no clubs, no drinks) and we followed as well.
There comes the entrance of Carly, the perfect girl for us. She was outgoing, fun and spontaneous, that person we needed in our uni life. We had so much in common and she was that girl whom you'll never feel bored with. We go to the clubs, get drunk, we meet lots of new people, we judge people and had our inside giggles, we did cook outs and the most important thing is she's like us, like we are the same kinda people that are meant to be really good friends. Just when we started liking her, things started to change. Kel was the first one who spot the changes and when she warned me about that, I didn't believed, not once but many times, because I was relying on what I see, on how much fun I had with her. True enough, some things you'll need to see it yourself and it will knock you out of sense to realise she wasn't a good friend. Out of the many things that she did to us (I'm not gonna say cos it would probably take up a few thousand words) is lying. She was such a great liar that she had me all along, when I wholeheartedly believed her. She made up stories about herself just to boost her on confidence, she talked shit about Kel to me and did the same thing back again to Kel. She was manipulative, competitive, jealous and selfish. It wasn't easy at all for me to say these things I'm saying now because a little part of me used to believe that it wasn't true but it is, Kel made me realise I need to wake up and stop trusting the wrong person. We slowly made her walk out of our life and til today we have yet to come close with any confrontational talks because I feel that there wasn't a need to. The most disheartening thing is after we broke off our friendship with her and started talking to our common friends and they brought up some of the things she said, we came to realise that the amount of stories she made up and her lies were ridiculously insane. I'm writing this incident down not because I'm trying to come clean with her acts but really, it's more like a closure for us. She was a good friend but not anymore. Whether or not she's reading this does not matter because we no longer feel mad about her and what she had done to us. All we do is laugh about it and get over it.
The best part about every bad ending comes a good one. I feel very lucky to have met two lovely ladies whom we spent our entire 2nd year with. There were so much laughter as what I can remember. Sharon and Hayley made us felt like we are a bunch of girlfriends. I miss the times we spend in Sharon's room gossiping, getting drunk and watching 'Minutes to destruction'. I miss the times when Kel and I are giving them emergency supper call to the pancake house and I'll get a lecture from them for being responsible of their weight gain. I miss our graduation trip in Gold Coast and Melbourne in a rainy season and ended up lying in our hotel room watching movies all day. I miss the craziness and naturally born joker hayley and I miss the genuine and fun sharon. It was really hard not to have them with us now because there's nobody we can call for supper, there's no one we could do crazy things with. There are real good friends for us.
~~~~~~
The first thing after I did after reading the cards and kept them back to where they belong, I immediately went to blogger and start typing out this post. I try to put my feelings into words when they are still raw and fresh in my heart. I made sure I typed out my true feeling without sugar coating it and stripping down the details to make it less direct like I usually would. This is by far the most truthful post I've ever written and posted. The most cliche phrases are in fact the most true right? Friends come and go, but who are the real ones?
2 comments:
i miss you girls so much and your post just made me tear too. True friends, we'll always know who end of the day..i lurb u all <3
I finally had time to sit down today and just visiting your blog and reading this makes me feel sad and happy at the same time. Sad because I miss you girls and our crazy times in adl and happy because we have some wonderful memories to look back upon and I'm always thankful for u girls..:) i cannot wait to go back to adl and visit you and kel and lulu and the cutest dog :D
Hayley
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