So down

Have you ever wondered what will you be like if just had that one step taken differently? Where you'll be? What would it be like? I am wondering about my life, about my 'might' life. Living in Adelaide is all I ever wanted but sometimes, a night like now makes me wonder what would it be like if everything was different. Perhaps its the song I'm listening to now or the dimness of room, I'm drowning into the surreality of life. What if everything I expected will disappoint me? What if the decision I made were actually wrong from the start? What if I was the person who injected problems into my perfect life. What if I'm left with nothing but sympathetically me? It's hard to listen to that little voice I can't even identify is its an angel or devil. Honestly, I'm not meeting any big problems, I'm just falling into my thoughts. Because I'm so free, so unoccupied now, I kept rotating my thoughts over and over again and it sucks.

I decided to look for a job to preoccupy my empty days. I hope that after I get the job, I'll get busier and happier. I guess when people realize they have lesser time, time becomes more precious. I hate the feeling of having nothing to do, waiting aimlessly for something to happen, waiting for someone to make me smile. I wish wish wish that I'll get the job.