It's been 7 years with you, blindroad, and now I'm moving on to www.kimberlyyew.blogspot.com . Thank you, you've served me well.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Friday, March 22, 2013
Friday, March 01, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Little brown eyes
Just when I'm on the verge of breaking down and I looked into your little brown eyes, you told me not to cry. Who actually knows when I'm in despair with my perfect little smile hiding every possible sadness I have. You know, I know you do. I love you.
Sunday, February 03, 2013
What Ifs
It has been an extremely hectic week for me with all the moving house, buying/building/arranging furniture, endless packing and unpacking and yet another endless cleaning to do. Would I have said moving house was 'fun' if I knew the amount of work, time and money I've thrown into this so called perfect home? Absouletely fucking not! But was it worth it? Hell yeah! This place is finally done, with no boxes lying around nor the ground filled with dust and finally, I get to sit in my bedroom, read a book, play with niño or look at recipes. I really have to say that I'm loving my new house, each and every part of it that was built with sweat and countless sacrificed sleeps. I want to hope that this is probably and hopefully the last time I'm gonna move house.
It kinda hit me while I was doing my unpacking when i found a box with pictures of the girls. What if they were still here? Maybe we might get a huge house and all lived together. We probably would ostracise Hayley's OCD-ness and complain about Sharon being a K-drama fanatic but worst of all, we will definitely top our neighbours' hate list because we would make so much noise and create a scene every night. But, things don't happen like how we thought it would be. I guess that's just a life of an overseas student, don't expect friends you meet here will be here with you forever. :( But well, we had the fondest memories and craziest times and that's what matters most. Life goes on and one day when we all meet again, we will laugh at our outrageousness, at how Hayley asked for a dozen of pillows from the room service in Gold Coast, at Kel's '2 anger person' and at Sharon's Korean with an American accent dream boyfriend. I miss you girls, it's been another year without you and I know we all are doing very well at a different part of the world :)
It kinda hit me while I was doing my unpacking when i found a box with pictures of the girls. What if they were still here? Maybe we might get a huge house and all lived together. We probably would ostracise Hayley's OCD-ness and complain about Sharon being a K-drama fanatic but worst of all, we will definitely top our neighbours' hate list because we would make so much noise and create a scene every night. But, things don't happen like how we thought it would be. I guess that's just a life of an overseas student, don't expect friends you meet here will be here with you forever. :( But well, we had the fondest memories and craziest times and that's what matters most. Life goes on and one day when we all meet again, we will laugh at our outrageousness, at how Hayley asked for a dozen of pillows from the room service in Gold Coast, at Kel's '2 anger person' and at Sharon's Korean with an American accent dream boyfriend. I miss you girls, it's been another year without you and I know we all are doing very well at a different part of the world :)
Saturday, January 05, 2013
Simple LOVE
The eyes, the touch, and the long hug tells it all. It can be so simple yet so sweet. Love is not everything but it completes everything I need.
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
Happy New Year
I know that a thousand of people might have said this before but really, I need to once again emphasise time flies. I don't know how the hell did time passes so fast each and every year like we were playing in the movie with a forward button turned on. But I have to say, I really had a great year and a great new year's count down. We all headed down to Elders Park for the countdown and for the first time I felt like Adelaide was coming to life. The entire park was jam packed with so many people (of all ages) that I almost felt like the whole Adelaide was there. The countdown in Adelaide is very much different from Singapore. We have a live band going on, food vendors on the side of the park selling the most yummy ice cream ever (bush tucker btw), Mexican, hotdog, you name it. And on the other side of
the park was the beer garden which actually was one of our highlights apart from the fireworks. As the fireworks show invited the arrival of the new year and brightening up the night sky of Adelaide, I felt like the luckiest and happiest girl in the world. I've gotten my new year's kiss, my bf wrapped me in his arms, my best friends by my side celebrating this special day with me and the magnificent fireworks going on for full 15 minutes, what more can I ask for? Maybe the only missing factor are my family in Singapore but I know they are always with me.
The list of resolution should be made every year and I guess mine would be
it this year. Happy New year:)
the park was the beer garden which actually was one of our highlights apart from the fireworks. As the fireworks show invited the arrival of the new year and brightening up the night sky of Adelaide, I felt like the luckiest and happiest girl in the world. I've gotten my new year's kiss, my bf wrapped me in his arms, my best friends by my side celebrating this special day with me and the magnificent fireworks going on for full 15 minutes, what more can I ask for? Maybe the only missing factor are my family in Singapore but I know they are always with me.
The list of resolution should be made every year and I guess mine would be
- finding a job that I really like,
- getting my drivers' licence,
- to make myself cleaner and neater ( no clutter in the house)
- and to do more things I love and not to give up half way through. ( cooking, baking, running with the dogs, setting up a mini business at the night market and taking up boxing lessons)
it this year. Happy New year:)
Saturday, December 22, 2012
The world is NOT ending
The Mayans' prediction to this upcoming 'world ending' catastrophe was spreading around a couple of years ago, as of what i could remember, I've been watching the documentaries of this doomsday on Discovery channel. I totally did not buy the story because I believe if one day the world decides to end, it would be a total uncalled for swept out attack for sure and certainly not a predicted date for us to sit around and wait for death to pound upon us. Nobody knows if they'll get robbed at a certain day and death is no exception too. I mean even if the world is not ending on the 21/12, it doesn't guarantee us to live til a hundred years, so why freak the hell out of something that is so unpredictably predictable? But I guess in a way its kinda a good thing because this prophecy made people believed if the world is coming to an end, they should be spending their time with their loved ones and speak their hearts out. Well, I am very much alive on this doomsday and thank god for the world not coming down because life is too short.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Weird times
Sometimes I feel so strong that I'm inevitable, like I'd be able to handle anything that comes head to head with me. Other times, like today, I am like fragile porcelain wrapped up in my own comfort zone, refusing to come clean with my own feelings. And this feels like shit
Friday, December 14, 2012
I hate to see her cry
We are all looking towards the direction of finding happiness. Some worked, some didn't. No matter how we try to customize happiness to the way we want it, we know for a fact that it doesn't lie in our hands. Love is uncertain. Love is claustrophobic. Love is bittersweet. Love is temperamental. Love is unconditionally trusting. Love is irrational. Love is so many things and we might end up in any one stop we least expect. Love hurts. Love is a gamble, once you've decided to board this train ride, it's a a bet to last through the last stop or give a raincheck half way through.
And because love is so unattainable it makes it precious and desirable yet ironically we desire something that might fail on us. Honestly, I don't even know what I'm talking about because I'm filled with so much anger, sadness, sympathy, that I felt like its is weighing me down and I could posdibly be crushed to the ground. I know that a 'why?' will be unexplainable at this point but I can't help but to wonder.
I'm scared. Some of her words echoed in my mind reminding me if what I have now might also one day bail out on me, makes my heart queasy. But isn't life unpredictable? Why should I think about the uncertainty of the future and restrain my self from falling absolutely in love, loving someone with all my heart? Even if one day it decided not work out, we can still leave with dignity and say at least we tried.
And because love is so unattainable it makes it precious and desirable yet ironically we desire something that might fail on us. Honestly, I don't even know what I'm talking about because I'm filled with so much anger, sadness, sympathy, that I felt like its is weighing me down and I could posdibly be crushed to the ground. I know that a 'why?' will be unexplainable at this point but I can't help but to wonder.
I'm scared. Some of her words echoed in my mind reminding me if what I have now might also one day bail out on me, makes my heart queasy. But isn't life unpredictable? Why should I think about the uncertainty of the future and restrain my self from falling absolutely in love, loving someone with all my heart? Even if one day it decided not work out, we can still leave with dignity and say at least we tried.
Friday, December 07, 2012
True Story
As I begin to pack my luggage, I cleared away some of my stuff and found this red little zipper bag where all my birthday cards were deposit in since I was here in Australia. I pulled out the entire stack and lay them on my bed. Slowly, I begin picking up one by one and finished reading them. Half way through my reading, my eyes welled up with tears- both sad and happy. The stack of cards/letters that are lying before my eyes pretty much summarise and gave me a recap of my friendships and relationships within this 3 years. I start to think back of all the friends I had and have. Friends that I've met when I was still a newbie, friends who left, friends who are still here with me and new friends. The feelings in my heart, conflicting one another, are too profound to put it into words (as much as I'd love to) and I cannot help but to come to tears once again. So for the first time, I'm gonna typed out my story (at my best) and hopefully resist in attempting to delete the entire post after writing it.
(All the names of friends, except kel, sharon and hayley, are made up so I'm not referring to anyone)
When I first got here, I was luckily to have the one and only person that I know, Kellen. We met in MDIS and formed a girls groupie that consists of 8. To be brutally honest, back then Kel and I were probably the least closest within the group. We weren't in any bad terms but it was more like a better-than-acquaintance kinda friendship. But who knows and ever expect that she's today the only friend I trust. I guess our friendship was built to the fact that we only had each other in this entirely different place and the only way was too trust each other, like 'us against the world'. With that, you probably be able to figure out how strong our friendship is.
The first friend I've met was Shilly, from my math class. We started hanging out after class for coffee and for some reason, despite our differences in nationality, we hit off really well. I decided that Kel should definitely meet this girl and since then, we are the three musketeers. We went to clubs, ktvs, studied for exams together and did frequent stay-overs at my place. Some how, we gradually stop hanging out as much but there wasn't any particular reason neither did we fight so the closest thing I can think of is she ate the entire box of Kel's favourite biscuit. hahaha! I guess 'drifting apart' happens to all of us sometimes but til today, eventhough she left for her country, we are still really good friends. A good friend I will always remember and miss dearly.
Subsequently, we started hanging out with Reese and the most applicable reason I could think of is that we are both Singaporeans and we were coincidentally neighbours. She wasn't the type of girl Kel and I would hang out with because we are not of the same league, in terms of age, interests and etc. Apparently, the only common thing we had was going to the same gym. I wouldn't say that there wasn't any good times with her, there really was, but she's just not that friend I'll always remember. The one thing Kel and I both agreed on was when we were hanging out with her, we've reached our healthiest stage of our lives cos she was a gym junkie (no clubs, no drinks) and we followed as well.
There comes the entrance of Carly, the perfect girl for us. She was outgoing, fun and spontaneous, that person we needed in our uni life. We had so much in common and she was that girl whom you'll never feel bored with. We go to the clubs, get drunk, we meet lots of new people, we judge people and had our inside giggles, we did cook outs and the most important thing is she's like us, like we are the same kinda people that are meant to be really good friends. Just when we started liking her, things started to change. Kel was the first one who spot the changes and when she warned me about that, I didn't believed, not once but many times, because I was relying on what I see, on how much fun I had with her. True enough, some things you'll need to see it yourself and it will knock you out of sense to realise she wasn't a good friend. Out of the many things that she did to us (I'm not gonna say cos it would probably take up a few thousand words) is lying. She was such a great liar that she had me all along, when I wholeheartedly believed her. She made up stories about herself just to boost her on confidence, she talked shit about Kel to me and did the same thing back again to Kel. She was manipulative, competitive, jealous and selfish. It wasn't easy at all for me to say these things I'm saying now because a little part of me used to believe that it wasn't true but it is, Kel made me realise I need to wake up and stop trusting the wrong person. We slowly made her walk out of our life and til today we have yet to come close with any confrontational talks because I feel that there wasn't a need to. The most disheartening thing is after we broke off our friendship with her and started talking to our common friends and they brought up some of the things she said, we came to realise that the amount of stories she made up and her lies were ridiculously insane. I'm writing this incident down not because I'm trying to come clean with her acts but really, it's more like a closure for us. She was a good friend but not anymore. Whether or not she's reading this does not matter because we no longer feel mad about her and what she had done to us. All we do is laugh about it and get over it.
The best part about every bad ending comes a good one. I feel very lucky to have met two lovely ladies whom we spent our entire 2nd year with. There were so much laughter as what I can remember. Sharon and Hayley made us felt like we are a bunch of girlfriends. I miss the times we spend in Sharon's room gossiping, getting drunk and watching 'Minutes to destruction'. I miss the times when Kel and I are giving them emergency supper call to the pancake house and I'll get a lecture from them for being responsible of their weight gain. I miss our graduation trip in Gold Coast and Melbourne in a rainy season and ended up lying in our hotel room watching movies all day. I miss the craziness and naturally born joker hayley and I miss the genuine and fun sharon. It was really hard not to have them with us now because there's nobody we can call for supper, there's no one we could do crazy things with. There are real good friends for us.
The first thing after I did after reading the cards and kept them back to where they belong, I immediately went to blogger and start typing out this post. I try to put my feelings into words when they are still raw and fresh in my heart. I made sure I typed out my true feeling without sugar coating it and stripping down the details to make it less direct like I usually would. This is by far the most truthful post I've ever written and posted. The most cliche phrases are in fact the most true right? Friends come and go, but who are the real ones?
(All the names of friends, except kel, sharon and hayley, are made up so I'm not referring to anyone)
When I first got here, I was luckily to have the one and only person that I know, Kellen. We met in MDIS and formed a girls groupie that consists of 8. To be brutally honest, back then Kel and I were probably the least closest within the group. We weren't in any bad terms but it was more like a better-than-acquaintance kinda friendship. But who knows and ever expect that she's today the only friend I trust. I guess our friendship was built to the fact that we only had each other in this entirely different place and the only way was too trust each other, like 'us against the world'. With that, you probably be able to figure out how strong our friendship is.
The first friend I've met was Shilly, from my math class. We started hanging out after class for coffee and for some reason, despite our differences in nationality, we hit off really well. I decided that Kel should definitely meet this girl and since then, we are the three musketeers. We went to clubs, ktvs, studied for exams together and did frequent stay-overs at my place. Some how, we gradually stop hanging out as much but there wasn't any particular reason neither did we fight so the closest thing I can think of is she ate the entire box of Kel's favourite biscuit. hahaha! I guess 'drifting apart' happens to all of us sometimes but til today, eventhough she left for her country, we are still really good friends. A good friend I will always remember and miss dearly.
Subsequently, we started hanging out with Reese and the most applicable reason I could think of is that we are both Singaporeans and we were coincidentally neighbours. She wasn't the type of girl Kel and I would hang out with because we are not of the same league, in terms of age, interests and etc. Apparently, the only common thing we had was going to the same gym. I wouldn't say that there wasn't any good times with her, there really was, but she's just not that friend I'll always remember. The one thing Kel and I both agreed on was when we were hanging out with her, we've reached our healthiest stage of our lives cos she was a gym junkie (no clubs, no drinks) and we followed as well.
There comes the entrance of Carly, the perfect girl for us. She was outgoing, fun and spontaneous, that person we needed in our uni life. We had so much in common and she was that girl whom you'll never feel bored with. We go to the clubs, get drunk, we meet lots of new people, we judge people and had our inside giggles, we did cook outs and the most important thing is she's like us, like we are the same kinda people that are meant to be really good friends. Just when we started liking her, things started to change. Kel was the first one who spot the changes and when she warned me about that, I didn't believed, not once but many times, because I was relying on what I see, on how much fun I had with her. True enough, some things you'll need to see it yourself and it will knock you out of sense to realise she wasn't a good friend. Out of the many things that she did to us (I'm not gonna say cos it would probably take up a few thousand words) is lying. She was such a great liar that she had me all along, when I wholeheartedly believed her. She made up stories about herself just to boost her on confidence, she talked shit about Kel to me and did the same thing back again to Kel. She was manipulative, competitive, jealous and selfish. It wasn't easy at all for me to say these things I'm saying now because a little part of me used to believe that it wasn't true but it is, Kel made me realise I need to wake up and stop trusting the wrong person. We slowly made her walk out of our life and til today we have yet to come close with any confrontational talks because I feel that there wasn't a need to. The most disheartening thing is after we broke off our friendship with her and started talking to our common friends and they brought up some of the things she said, we came to realise that the amount of stories she made up and her lies were ridiculously insane. I'm writing this incident down not because I'm trying to come clean with her acts but really, it's more like a closure for us. She was a good friend but not anymore. Whether or not she's reading this does not matter because we no longer feel mad about her and what she had done to us. All we do is laugh about it and get over it.
The best part about every bad ending comes a good one. I feel very lucky to have met two lovely ladies whom we spent our entire 2nd year with. There were so much laughter as what I can remember. Sharon and Hayley made us felt like we are a bunch of girlfriends. I miss the times we spend in Sharon's room gossiping, getting drunk and watching 'Minutes to destruction'. I miss the times when Kel and I are giving them emergency supper call to the pancake house and I'll get a lecture from them for being responsible of their weight gain. I miss our graduation trip in Gold Coast and Melbourne in a rainy season and ended up lying in our hotel room watching movies all day. I miss the craziness and naturally born joker hayley and I miss the genuine and fun sharon. It was really hard not to have them with us now because there's nobody we can call for supper, there's no one we could do crazy things with. There are real good friends for us.
~~~~~~
The first thing after I did after reading the cards and kept them back to where they belong, I immediately went to blogger and start typing out this post. I try to put my feelings into words when they are still raw and fresh in my heart. I made sure I typed out my true feeling without sugar coating it and stripping down the details to make it less direct like I usually would. This is by far the most truthful post I've ever written and posted. The most cliche phrases are in fact the most true right? Friends come and go, but who are the real ones?
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
Happy 21
It's hard to believe but yes, I'm finally 21. I never really had the age thing loitering on my mind that much cos for some reasons, I always feel older than what I really am. Nevertheless, I'm still really happy to have hit this 'big 21' digit of my life. I was never the girl who will throw big parties and invite a thousand people for my birthday, rather I always loved a get together mellow birthday dinner. Kel brought me to a EXTREMELY expensive Japanese teppanyaki style restaurant. I mean it was a great dinner, especially when it's with her, but it was so expensive that I almost had a literal jaw drop when I opened the menu, and the bill after. It was really nice of her to spoil me like this and to be honest, she kinda reminds me of my dad. :)
Coincidentally, my boyfriend's sister gave birth to a baby boy on my brithday so I pretty much spend my afternoon in the ward looking at the cutest little thing who was born the same day as I am. It was a rather special birthday celebration. He then brought me to another EXTREMELY expensive (again) Italian restaurant and we had the best 8 course degustation meal in my life. Just when I thought that I was overwhelmed enough with all the good food for 2 straight days, a bunch of cheeky kids surprise me when I got home from the dinner. Kel, made a sashimi birthday cake for me and Adabelle had berry (her dog) dressed up with a bow tie to surprise me.
I never really see birthday as such big of a deal and it's not about the presents that I received but it's how your loved ones work their ass off to surprise you and make you feel like you're star. I am so blessed to have a great boyfriend and a best friend. Happy birthday to me.
Coincidentally, my boyfriend's sister gave birth to a baby boy on my brithday so I pretty much spend my afternoon in the ward looking at the cutest little thing who was born the same day as I am. It was a rather special birthday celebration. He then brought me to another EXTREMELY expensive (again) Italian restaurant and we had the best 8 course degustation meal in my life. Just when I thought that I was overwhelmed enough with all the good food for 2 straight days, a bunch of cheeky kids surprise me when I got home from the dinner. Kel, made a sashimi birthday cake for me and Adabelle had berry (her dog) dressed up with a bow tie to surprise me.
I never really see birthday as such big of a deal and it's not about the presents that I received but it's how your loved ones work their ass off to surprise you and make you feel like you're star. I am so blessed to have a great boyfriend and a best friend. Happy birthday to me.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Only girl in the world
These few days have been extremely wonderful. I felt like a princess who was fufiled by my prince charming. Throughout the entire trip, he was really sweet and he made me the happiest girl in the world. I know it might sound very cliche but I really felt this way. He not only showered me with gifts and love (well the trip itself too), he also fed me really well haha! Thanks baby, I've really enjoyed the trip with you so much and I'll return as much love back to you:)
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Why is everyone getting married?!
No offence, but it seems like the whole world is getting married. Seriously, Is that like the latest trend in Singapore that I'm missing out? I understand for people who have been in like the longest relationship and are both financially and mentally ready for a marriage, I'm really happy for them (Like stella and ruoxin) but really, there's this small group of people (aged 21-23) are for sure falling into this deep deep hole trend, I see happening on my facebook newsfeed every now and then. When I say every now and then, I meant EVERY NOW AND THEN I will run into kel's room or she comes running into mine and say in disbelief, "Do you know who and who is getting married? WTF" I understand that you are falling in deep love and think that the guy is your right one but why is there a need to prove it by getting married? Why don't you wanna enjoy the sweetest moment in a relationship and why do you wanna compromise your freedom? It is not like I'm against marriage or anything, but I feel like the girls out there are taking marriage too lightly especially when they are so young. Just because your friend or somebody next door is getting married, doesn't mean you should too. I know, I know, diamond ring looks good and Prince charming is so perfect but WHAT'S THE RUSH? Then again, who am I to judge?
Sunday, November 18, 2012
So what's the deal?
Every now and then, I'd be asked about my status in Australia. Are you staying on? Are you looking for a job? blah blah blah and the list goes on. Truthfully, every time when I'm prompted by these questions, I felt like I was hit by the brutal reality of how unobtainable Aus visa can be. My answers to the questions always stays the same. Yes, I wanna stay on and find a job, if I'm allowed to, but with the circumstances I'm in, I'm not keeping my hopes high. I didn't want to be pessimistic and I know there will be definitely a way or two to be done but I'm scared, I'm really scared that things would turn out the exact opposite way. Have you ever had the feeling of knowing that you are meant to be in a place, living the life that you dreamt of ? That's exactly how I'm feeling. It's not like returning back to Singapore is a horrendous idea but living in Australia seems to make all my dreams come true.
I'd love to wake up in the morning in my beautiful apartment, seeing Nino comes running into my room, jumping in the air with excitement and I'll put him in my arms and head downstairs to make breakfast for myself before getting to work. Comes home after, knocking off at 5pm ON THE DOT, taking Nino out for his daily walk at the park and joins my bf for a romantic dinner, eating home or out, doesn't matter. This is the kind of lifestyle I want to have. I know if I hadn't come to Australia, I wouldn't be even close to wanting or even thinking of having this lifestyle, but the fact that I'm here, makes me desire for this contagious 'laidback' lifestyle. I am currently on graduation visa which ideally means that I'd be able to stay in Aus for a another 2years? And what comes after would be hoping that I'll be a possible candidate for PR. :)
I'd love to wake up in the morning in my beautiful apartment, seeing Nino comes running into my room, jumping in the air with excitement and I'll put him in my arms and head downstairs to make breakfast for myself before getting to work. Comes home after, knocking off at 5pm ON THE DOT, taking Nino out for his daily walk at the park and joins my bf for a romantic dinner, eating home or out, doesn't matter. This is the kind of lifestyle I want to have. I know if I hadn't come to Australia, I wouldn't be even close to wanting or even thinking of having this lifestyle, but the fact that I'm here, makes me desire for this contagious 'laidback' lifestyle. I am currently on graduation visa which ideally means that I'd be able to stay in Aus for a another 2years? And what comes after would be hoping that I'll be a possible candidate for PR. :)
My Dream Home
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